


Snape's Cupidity

by Bonfoi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: severus_sighs, Dirty Talk, Exhibitionism, First Time, M/M, Marauders' Era, Mildly Dubious Consent, Other, Threesome, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-02
Updated: 2012-04-02
Packaged: 2017-11-02 22:14:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/373922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonfoi/pseuds/Bonfoi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>cu•pid•i•ty [noun]: eager or excessive desire, especially to possess something...or someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snape's Cupidity

**Author's Note:**

> Originally created for the 2011 Severus_Sighs Anti-Valentine’s Prompt **#8:** _Severus was going to get his Valentine ... one way or another._

§¤§¤*§*¤§¤§ 

**_ Disclaimer:_** The world of Harry Potter, its characters and settings are the copyrighted works of J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., her publishing companies and affiliates. No profit was made from the writing of this story nor was any malice intended in any way, shape or form to the author or the actors/actresses who so brilliantly have brought them to life. 

This author is not responsible for underage readers. Please observe the ratings, warnings, and age of legal consent for your country.

§¤§¤*§*¤§¤§ 

_Lily was beautiful, and she was **his** friend, damn it!_ Severus watched Potter and his cronies larking about, the scarred one—Loony Loopy Lupin—off to the side, reading, as always.

Potter threw his head back and laughed. Black barked out his version of one, and then Lily’s throaty chuckle drifted into the air. Severus could have lived without the first two, but hers was effervescent, sparkling…and Severus needed that in his life. Lily was the only bright spot in his life.

Then **it** happened. 

Potter reached out and brought Lily’s right hand to his lips. She colored up and Severus felt his stomach drop. She simpered as Potter kissed the back of her hand and winked at her. _Simpered!_ She looked up and fluttered her eyelashes at the prat. Even Black seemed to notice something had changed as his gaze flickered back and forth from Lily to Potter. Only Loopy Lupin seemed oblivious, nose still stuck in his book.

When Lily stood up and stepped closer, Severus’ world tilted on its axis. He saw Potter’s face softening and Lily’s glowing. She wasn’t _just_ Severus’ anymore. A vicious word trembled on his lips, but he bit it back and turned away.

A shaggy head looked up from the book it’d been bent over and stared after Severus’ abrupt departure. He glanced at Lily, James, and Sirius and winced.

«§»Ξ«§»Ξ«§»Ξ«§»

Time passed, The Prank occurred, and Severus let the word… _Mudblood!_ …hiss past his lips. Lily Evans cried, still beautiful, and then fierily angry. Potter fumed and hexed, Black hexed and hexed…and Loopy Lupin frowned and cast subtle healing spells that Severus wouldn’t acknowledge.

Months later no one blinked when Severus appeared in the Great Hall one day, walking creakily and guarding his ribs. The Slytherins left a space for him, not out of kindness but out of distaste for his weakness, for being saved by a Gryffindor from something dreadful—though how they knew was beyond anyone’s ken.

One pair of eyes watched in sympathy. Severus met them as he gazed dazedly around the hall, barely chewing his breakfast. He sneered and felt his spine straighten and his shoulders square. “Damn you all, then!” he snarled under his breath. Ignoring his injuries and his bruised pride, Severus shoveled the food in, chewing mechanically. The Slytherins nearby scooted closer, a tacit if subtle olive branch.

Lupin sighed and tiredly shook his shaggy head. He knew Snape’s pride would be his saving grace even if it was often his downfall. He ignored Sirius’ apologies, James’ entreaties, Peter’s odd looks, and Lily’s questions as he ate his breakfast.

«§»Ξ«§»Ξ«§»Ξ«§»

Severus listened from behind the garden wall as Potter expounded on his St. Valentine’s Day plans.

“…and then a box of Honeydukes’ Chocolates, like those Muggle ones from Belgium. You know, Padfoot, like the ones your dad gave his mistress last year.”

“I don’t have a father anymore, but, yeah, I remember.” Black’s voice was rough. “Wonder if Moony will ever let me talk to him again?” he asked despondently.

“Hmm, um…yeah, I guess so. I mean, he knows Snape’s a swot and a sneaking git and you’re not.” Potter laughed. “I know Lily thinks we did something awful to him, and really, Sirius, you did step over the line, but Remus will come around.” A twig snapped and sparks appeared in the air above them. They laughed.

“I don’t know, Prongs. Moony’s all but moved out of the dorm! He doesn’t talk to me! Me! Sirius Black! Friend of a lifetime!” Black beat his chest and Severus smirked.

“I was going to send him something anonymous from London, you know…something he might…yeah…that. It’s brilliant, isn’t it?” Black’s voice was thin and sounded uncertain.

“Somehow, I don’t think you’re going to get into his bed or his pants now, Pads. Just leave off and maybe you’ll end up with a friend again.”

Severus turned and pressed his fist to his lips, biting it. Black couldn’t have been talking about wooing a boy… _could he?_ He couldn’t have been talking about being _bent_ … _could he?_ Thoughts spun through his head, plans blossoming fully-formed behind his wide, dark eyes. Revenge would be his! 

Severus snuck away, not noticing the other person hiding in the hedge.

«§»Ξ«§»Ξ«§»Ξ«§»

The parchment was plain, almost scrubbed thin, but it was still useable. Severus stared at it and then at his quill. He had one thing he had to do before he broke Sirius Black. Taking a swig from a pilfered bottle of Firewhisky, he set quill to parchment.

The next day Potter roared as a school owl shat on his head before dropping its letter into Lily’s hands. Black was raked by the owl’s talons as it lifted away. It couldn’t have worked out better if he’d planned it. Severus smirked down at his full English breakfast and tucked in with gusto.

Glancing up, Lily’s eyes sought his and he thought he saw forgiveness and hope in them. Too bad he’d have to lose those things.

«§»Ξ«§»Ξ«§»Ξ«§»

Soon, notes began appearing with Loopy Lupin’s plates, enchanted to burn any fingers but his. Mysterious boxes—some filled with preserved lupine flowers, others with shrunken books on Dark Arts and Transfiguration, all just for Lupin—were found just outside the Gryffindor Common’s Room. When questioned, the Fat Lady couldn’t say who had left them, her lips floating away when she tried.

Lily smiled a secret smirk and held Potter’s hand, her nose in the air every time Black tried to cajole a smile from her. She often studied with Lupin in the library, steering him into the corners where Severus liked to revise. It was as if she were trying to fix something she didn’t know was badly broken. Slowly, the three of them came to an uneasy truce, but Severus meant it to look that way.

Soon, St. Valentine’s Day arrived with heart-shaped chocolate boxes, chubby cupids chasing students down the halls, and blushing glances abounding. Severus had to swallow his bile time and again, biding his time until he could achieve his revenge.

St. Valentine’s evening, Severus put his plans in motion. “Evans,” he called softly. “…Lily…” Lily looked up with a smile. Lupin glanced up and then back at his Potions homework.

“Yes, Severus?”

“I wanted to give you something before Potter tears you away for the dance that’s not supposed to be happening tonight.” Severus pushed a small box—which looked remarkably like the ones Lupin had been receiving—across the table. Lily reached forward and flicked it open and then gasped. Hazel eyes watched from under shaggy bangs.

“Oh, Sev! It’s lovely.” Lily pulled a fine necklace out of the box, a small moonstone pendant dangling from it. “Put it on me, Sev. Please?” She gave him the necklace, turned and pulled her hair aside, baring her throat.

Severus swallowed and put the necklace around her throat, his fingertips burning as he felt her soft skin beneath them. Then he glanced over her shoulder and saw Lupin’s eyes glowing with an amber tinge and his pants were suddenly too tight.

“It’s almost eight o’clock, Snape. I’m not going to the dance, but I’m going to call it a night.” Lupin’s voice was like rough velvet, had been since Black tried to feed Severus to him. He gathered his books and parchments, tucked them into his satchel, and stood up.

Lupin rounded the table and put out his hand for Lily. Severus lunged forward just as she put her hand into Lupin’s—the three of them Port-keyed away at the combined touch.

«§»Ξ«§»Ξ«§»Ξ«§»

Severus recovered quickly and cast Incarcerous on Lily. She fell to the floor. He reached into a pocket and pulled out a handful of asphodel powder and blew it in Lupin’s direction, incapacitating the werewolf for crucial minutes.

They were almost in the same place Black had tried to kill Severus, only this time, the Shrieking Shack was clean, the furniture repaired, the bed mended and piled high with pillows and covers. It wasn’t fancy, but it was clean.

Lily tried to wriggle, but the magical ropes kept her trapped on the floor. “Severus Snape! What are you doing?” she yelled. She was glorious!

Lupin coughed and gasped and teared-up, trying to clear the asphodel dust from his lungs and eyes. He flailed around, dropping his wand. “ _Accio Lupin’s wand!_ ” Severus pocketed it with a smirk. “Too easy, Lupin,” he purred.

“Sev, what are you going to do?” Lily’s voice was calmer, lower, the voice of someone trying to reason with a madman.

“I’m making Potter sweat and breaking Black’s bloody heart, Lily. _Mobilicorpus!_ ” He levitated her onto a repaired sofa and arranged her in a comfortable position—where she could watch what Severus had planned.

“You’re part of it, too. You’re my witness, Lily.” Severus stripped down to his trousers, his narrow shoulders pimpling in the cool air. He waved two fingers at the fireplace and flames burst up from the wood he’d placed there.

“Snape, why didn’t you just ask?” Lupin coughed. His eyes were reddened and his lips were plump from biting them. He seemed unnaturally calm.

Severus laughed harshly and swung his wand in Lupin’s direction. “I didn’t think you’d agree to anything I planned, especially not kidnapping Lily on St. Valentine’s Day.” Severus tossed the pillows from the bed and turned the covers, revealing much-worn, buttery-soft blue cotton sheets. “I especially didn’t think you’d have sex with me in front of her.”

“Try me…Severus.” Severus turned around and watched Lupin shrug out of his Gryffindor robes, leaving his tie on as he slowly stripped out of his clothes. “Lily, you don’t mind, do you?” he asked softly.

“N-n-no…carry on,” Lily breathed out. She relaxed into her bindings and watched as Remus’ skin was revealed, scars and all. Her breathing sped up when Remus stood straight and tall, his Gryffindor tie not the only red thing hanging on his body. 

Severus bit his lip, suddenly finding his revenge was easier to condone. Lupin’s body was…was scarred, belonged to a fiend, and yet…it was so much more. “You don’t look like a monster…” he breathed out

“You don’t look like a kidnapper, but here we are.” Lupin stepped over his clothes and closer to Severus, a very feral grin on his usually placid face. “Now, shall we get this revenge going? I’m eager to lose my virginity, aren’t you?”

Lupin looked over his shoulder and winked at Lily. “Still good, Lils? Any requests?” She shook her head jerkily, her eyes staring at the jutting cock bobbing inches away from the tip of a Gryffindor tie.

“What the hell’s going on?” Severus demanded suddenly. “You never acted like this before.” His hands fluttered in the air, much like his heart in his chest.

“You should have asked, Severus.” Lupin stepped closer, their chests brushing, making Severus’ breath stutter in his lungs. “I’m a werewolf. I can _smell_ things. I _feel_ things quite strongly as well.” Lupin leaned forward and pressed soft kisses along Severus’ jawline, humming as he did so.

Severus swayed and then Lup-Remus’ arms were around him, barely holding him but still as binding as iron bands. “I-I-I…” Remus returned to Severus’ chin, kissed it, and then leaned up and kissed Severus silent. Lily’s heavy breathing was the only sound for several minutes.

“Time!” Lily yelled out, her eyes still round and her breasts heaving.

Severus broke the kiss, startled. Remus smirked, a wholly Slytherin action on a not-so-typical Gryffindor face. “Did I do something wrong, Lils?” Remus asked as he rubbed his chest against Severus’

“No…but you need to lay him down before he falls down,” she said with a nod.

“I do believe you’re right, Lils.” Lupin bent his knees and slid his hands down and then picked Severus up in his arms. “I’m awfully strong, you see. I needed someone strong enough for me and Lily thought that would be you. Has for years.” He covered the distance to the bed easily while carrying Severus.

Severus crossed his arms and huffed. “What am I? A ruddy teddy bear?” He scowled. “Put me down, Lupin! At once! This is my revenge! It’s supposed to be—”

“Darker? More dangerous? Less soppy?” Lupin asked with a smirk. “Then how about I tear those trousers from you and suck that throbbing cock while Lily shouts directions? Will that darken things for you?” Severus felt strong fingers at the back of his trousers, pulling steadily until the seam gave.

“What are you doing? Those are my good trousers!” Severus groused. Then he stilled at the touch of calloused fingers on his arse, rubbing at the top of the crack. 

“Lily! He’s got no pants on underneath! And he’s so silky back here…” Remus kept ripping the seam as he plunged both hands inside the torn trousers, palming Severus’ buttocks.

“You need to show me, Remus! I can’t see anything with all that black wool in the way.” 

“Done and done!” Remus yelled over his shoulder as he closed his eyes and suddenly Banished Severus’ trousers, socks and half-boots. “Doesn’t he look delicious, Lily?” he asked in a breathless voice.

“ _Nguh!_ ” Severus had never really felt another person’s skin other than as a handshake or a slap. He swallowed thickly as his hands unconsciously smoothed over Remus’ back, down his buttocks, and then back up to press him down, increasing the pressure on his own cock. The Gryffindor tie was a silky cool line between them.

“Oh, that’s lovely,” Lily breathed out from her bound position. Severus looked over Remus’ shoulder, down that lovely expanse of skin and saw her cheeks were red and she was licking her lips. “You should fuck him, Severus. I can see his arsehole clenching from here.”

“Lily Evans!” Remus laughed into Severus’ neck. “I never knew you were so foul-mouthed.” Severus moaned and closed his eyes as Remus rolled his hips and slid his cock past Severus’ prick.

“She’s right, though, Severus. I’d be willing to fuck you or for you to fuck me…” Remus pushed up on his arms and thrust down with his hips. “Willing for you to pound into my arse until I can’t walk straight for days…or do the very pleasurable same to you.” Remus swiveled his hips and made Severus mewl. Remus bent closer and whispered wickedly, “Willing for you to make me come so hard that Lily dreams of it for years…”

Severus’ head rolled from side-to-side on the pillow, his fingers bruising Remus’ arms, his heels drumming on the mattress. “Yesss…” he hissed out. “I want that! I want to have what Black couldn’t get!” 

Remus stopped suddenly. Severus writhed for a minute before he realized the Gryffindor was still. “What’s wrong? Why did you stop?” he whined. His cock literally vibrated between them.

“Sirius never, ever had a chance with me, Severus. Lily has a better chance, and I don’t _like_ girls that way!” Remus growled. He looked deep into Severus’ eyes. “I like boys. Long, lean, snarky, intelligent, _dark_ boys with lovely fingers and delicate wrists and bollocks that hang heavy.” Each word was punctuated by nipping kisses, rolling thrusts that dragged sweaty cocks together, and rumbling growling punctuated by breathy gasps, and Lily’s excited cheering.

“He’s right, Sev…he turned me down earlier this year,” she stage-whispered from the sofa. “But, he’s beautiful, isn’t he, Sev? And he wants you, all of you, all the dark parts and the parts you shared with me.” Her words encouraged Severus and he slid a questing finger down the crack of Remus’ arse until he could press on the quivering muscled hidden at the base.

“That’s it, Severus…push in…push that finger,” Remus muttered through his teeth. “Fuck me with another one…” he groaned. “I don’t mind…pain…” Lupin grunted.

Severus bit his lip, trying to concentrate on revenge, on making Lupin pay for not keeping Black in line, for not protecting him. His cock was throbbing under Remus’ slippery thrusts. He couldn’t hold on to the anger, only the desire…the smooth skin over clenching muscles…the grasping hole that was tugging in yet another finger. Severus pushed two fingers deep inside Remus, roughly, over and over again.

“Bloody hell!” Lily breathed. “So fucking gorgeous! From here, there’s all blushing skin and sweaty boys…” She licked her lips and seemed ready to roll off the sofa.

“Fuck me properly, Severus Snape,” Remus begged. He clenched his buttocks, and his arsehole, holding Severus’ hand and fingers hostage. “I want that cock I have yet to see inside me so deep I’ll taste it when Sirius looks at me…” he whined.

They rolled over and Remus proved his abdominals were strong as well, bridging so that Severus could pull his fingers from his arse. A quick—and wandless—Scourgify cleaned not only Severus’ fingers but Remus’ arse.

“Lube, silly swots!” Lily yelled. “It’s not a vagina! You need lubricant!”

“She’s right, Severus…as much as I want you plow into me…” Remus gasped out.

“ _Accio special pot!_ ” Severus whispered. A small porcelain pot flew off the shelf above the bed and landed next to Remus’ head. “I made my own,” Severus confided. “Silky and healing and long-lasting.”

“Then use it, man, use it!” Remus encouraged. He tugged at his tie. His eyes were getting wild, his shaggy blondish hair spread out over the pillow as he tossed his head waiting for Severus to slather the lube on his arse. “Please…I want to come on your cock!”

“Please hurry, Sev…please…I want to come too…” Lily whimpered a bit.

Severus grinned maniacally and almost broke the pot’s cork as he pulled it out and tossed it aside. Two fingers—the same two that had been fluttering within Remus’ arse earlier—plunged in and scooped out a thick cream. “Lift your arse again, Remus,” he commanded. Remus made a bridge once more and then moaned as those two fingers pressed inside him. He fell back to the bed with a sigh as Severus worked them in and out.

“Enough…” Remus whispered, “Enough foreplay, Snape. Fuck me like a Slytherin.”

The fingers left Remus’ arse and slipped around his bollocks in a slippery parting gesture. Severus dipped them once more into the cream and rolled to the side to coat Remus’ cock first and then his own. He stared at their cocks…

“You’ll need to kneel and have Remus bend his legs and show you his arsehole, Sev,” Lily said distinctly.

“I thought you were in the throes of coming, Evans!” Severus growled. Remus whimpered and thrust up, seeking something, anything. 

“Girls can multitask, Snape. Get on with the buggering then!” she cheerfully shot back.

“Girls!” Severus growled as he just put his cockhead at Remus’ entrance and leaned forward, gravity pushing him inside inexorably. “O, Merlin…your arse is brilliant!” he moaned.

“Mmm…uh huh…fuck him, Sev! Fuck him for me…” Lily sighed behind his back.

Remus writhed under Severus, his channel rippling around Severus’ cock and then seemingly sucking it back in as Severus slowly thrust inside. “More, Sev…more…”

“Beautiful…”

“Put your legs around my waist!”

“Argh! Bloody hell, watch the heels, Lupin! I’m not a fucking horse!” Severus panted.

“Could’ve fooled me! That’s a mighty oak between your skinny legs, not some Firstie’s todger!” Remus huffed back. He bent his back and rolled his hips to make Severus curse and then drive back into his arse harder, faster.

“That’s it…that’s it…that’s it…” Lily gasped.

“Ahh…” Remus wrapped his arms around Severus and pulled him down for an openmouthed kiss. His cock was tugged back and forth as Severus’ hips never stopped pistoning. They both broke away when Remus exploded between them, the creamy essence easing some of Severus’ motion.

Severus pushed his arms down and himself away and began hammering Remus’ arse, bottom lip between his teeth, and his eyes squinting as if Remus were too bright to look at. Lily gasped and keened behind him, the sound echoing Severus’ open-mouthed groans, spurring him ever higher. Suddenly he plunged deeply into Remus and fell on the other youth’s chest, gasping for air and shaking. 

Minutes passed. “Oh…that was…glorious…” Lily gasped out.

“What…she…said…” Remus breathed into Severus’ ear.

“Uh huh…good…” Severus mumbled into Remus’ shoulder.

The Shrieking Shack grew quiet as the two on the bed caught their breaths.

“Could one of you set me free?” Lily complained. “I’ve got drenched panties and it’s not very comfortable.”

Remus began laughing, shaking Severus off his chest and to the side, still holding him gently. “You’re a powerful witch, Lily,” Remus muttered lazily. “Do it yourself.”

“Men! Get them laid and they ignore your needs!” she grumbled. Several minutes went by as she muttered _Finite Incantatem_ over and over until they heard a thump.

“Ow! Next time you kidnap me, Severus, I hope you remember to enlarge the sofa.”

Severus chuckled into Remus’ shoulder. “I’ll remember that, Lils.”

“Yes, I think this will break Sirius’ heart well enough.” Lily stood at the bedside, a blanket in her hands. “You both look good like that, Sev. And you really do have a mighty oak between your legs, and Remus’, if it hasn’t slipped out yet.”

“I’m not having this conversation with you, Evans. Just because I’m a kidnapper doesn’t mean I’m a pervert,” Severus muttered, blushing.

“No, it just means you’re a lovely man who’s found out fucking my other very best friend is better than any revenge you had planned.” Lily pulled her wand out and cast a gentle cleansing charm on the two of them and even corked the lube pot. She threw the blanket over them and smirked.

“The best revenge is to live in spite of everyone, Sev, and be happy doing it. Promise me you’ll do that.”

Severus nodded and then vowed, “I, Severus Snape, will live in spite of everyone and everything, just because Lily Evans says so.” They shook hands and a flare of bluish light played over their clasp. Remus sighed and snuggled into Severus, one eye drifting shut.

“Go ‘way, Lils. He has to have his evil way with me again tonight.”

“Oh, you’re one of those!” Lily stepped away and then darted forward to kiss Severus’ cheek.

“You can kidnap me any time, Severus. I’ll bet James will be frantic by now.” Lily turned with a flip of her skirt. “Maybe I’ll let him touch my panties…you know, to sooth his fears,” she mused as she glided away.

Remus lifted his head. “Don’t let Sirius know just yet, Lils. Severus and I have to make plans…after he fucks me again.” His grin was wide and mischievous. “Right, Severus?”

Looking between his childhood friend and what appeared to be his lover, Severus blinked. “Oh, aye…I guess. Why aren’t you two in Slytherin?” he asked, bemused.

“I’d rather have a Slytherin in me, Severus, and really, can you see Lily anywhere else but Gryffindor?” Remus turned his head and kissed Severus’ temple.

“Goodbye, Lily,” Remus said in a strong voice. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Make certain you do! Ta, Sev! Happy fucking!” she called before slamming and warding the door.

Severus rolled onto his back and Remus pressed against his side, nibbling along Severus’ collar bone. “What just happened, Lupin?” He played with the dampish Gryffindor tie still around Remus’ neck.

“We turned your revenge into something you could live with, Severus. Besides, I always wanted a good, solid St. Valentine’s gift. You taking my virginity is definitely high on my list as something good and solid.” Remus pulled the blanket higher.

“So, how will this break Black’s heart?” Severus asked quietly.

“He always wants what he can’t, or shouldn’t, have. I’m a person, a Dark beast to some, probably still am to you, but he tried to use me to kill you. I’ll never forgive him, and I’ve always wanted to see if you looked liked you smelled, so…” his voice trailed off.

“So, in a most Slytherin manner, you used me, eh?” Severus began laughing. “Oh, that’s rich! Here I was trying to punish everyone and I end up getting someone to fuck **and** putting on a show for my best friend.”

“Oh, shut it, Snape,” Remus growled playfully. He kissed the corner of Severus’ mouth. “You aren’t the only one with scores to settle. ‘Sides, our way got you laid, relaxed, and with an armful of willing arse for another go ‘round.”

“Yes, your permutation of my plan is acceptable,” Severus mumbled as he felt himself falling asleep. “Got a brill’nt arse, too…”

Remus smiled to himself as Severus fell asleep. Tomorrow there’d be hexes and cursing and punches. Tonight, there was more fucking, more Severus grinning and sweating and pressing himself against Remus. “It’s all yours, Severus…any time you want it…”

“All time…” Severus whispered and then fell into deep, well-deserved sleep.

«§»Ξ«§»Ξ«§»Ξ«§»

Lily found James pacing back and forth at the bottom of the Gryffindor girls’ stairs. She stopped his words with a finger against his lips and pulled him from the Common Room and out into the hall.

“James, if you keep quiet, I’m going to show you how much I appreciate your worrying about me. Nod if you want me to do that.”

James Potter wasn’t thick _per se_. He nodded.

“Good. We’re going to the Prefect’s bath then.” Lily grabbed James hand and he docilely followed her, sniffing.

“Lily, do you smell something…interesting?” he asked.

She smirked and looked over her shoulder. “I’ll show you what’s so interesting, Potter. Just wait a mo’.”

Sirius looked around the corner as his best mate and the only girl he’d wanted—and never fucked—went down the hall toward the Prefect’s bath. “Bloody hell, St. Valentine’s and everyone’s getting laid but me!” he whined. Then a though occurred to him and he grinned. “Well, Snape’ll never get laid! Who’d want to see him naked?” 

The Fat Lady chuckled in her portrait when she heard that. Perhaps she should tell dear Remus that her cousin the dryad in the painting over the bed in the Shrieking Shack had only good things to say about Severus Snape’s endowments. She spoke much better of them than of young master Black’s. 

When Sirius went through her portrait, she caught his fingers between her frame and the doorjamb, and then laughed for no apparent reason.

§¤§¤*§*¤§¤§ 

  


_~~~ Comments, like rain in the desert, are greatly appreciated.  
Thank you for reading. ~~~_  



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